messengeroftheshadows

Oct 19
sadvirginsacrifice:

my autobiography

sadvirginsacrifice:

my autobiography

Oct 19
Oct 19

notthebees1234:

When you realize you have homework.

Oct 19

girlwholovesdragons:

temperamentalheavingheart:

thinkthatthetimehascome:

ianoshea:

jocundasykes:

welcome-foolishmortals:

I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

ICH WEINE

The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem

THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE

this post is terrifyingly funny when your high.

homohotlips69

Holy shit I am dying from laughter

Oct 19
shaxaphone:

It’s 1:56 am and I’m trying to sleep shut the fuck up

shaxaphone:

It’s 1:56 am and I’m trying to sleep shut the fuck up

Oct 19
Oct 19

allteensrelate:

Coming home from school like 

image

Oct 19
wannabebandkid:

voovoov:

sniikt:

tell me it’s not only me

and chairs that don’t have them are never comfortable

I call it the fidget bar because I always bounce my leg on it

wannabebandkid:

voovoov:

sniikt:

tell me it’s not only me

and chairs that don’t have them are never comfortable

I call it the fidget bar because I always bounce my leg on it

Oct 19

awesomeesaucee:

When you get fed up of waiting for a page to load so you close it and in the split second that you do you can see the page has fully loaded but it’s too late

image

Oct 19

sabrielshipping-charliebartlett:

"We’re preparing you for the real world"

I don’t meant to alarm you but

the real world has calculators

Oct 19
did-you-kno:

During WWII, the US Military designed a grenade the exact size and weight of a baseball, because “any young American man should be able to throw it properly.” Soldiers learned to hold it the way a pitcher holds a knuckle ball.   Source

did-you-kno:

During WWII, the US Military designed a grenade the exact size and weight of a baseball, because “any young American man should be able to throw it properly.” Soldiers learned to hold it the way a pitcher holds a knuckle ball. Source

Oct 19
mechanicmuffin:

carnotaurus-sassytrei:

konkeydongcountry:

sreido:

where was this when I was small enough to fit in it

you say that like i’m not gonna just awkwardly squeeze myself into itif it worked for bowser, it’ll work for me

having worked at toys r us
i can assure you that size is no obstacle for adults wanting to hop on a kiddy toy
the grotesque contortions of the human bodies i have seen will chase me to the grave

toys r’ us guy has seen some shit

mechanicmuffin:

carnotaurus-sassytrei:

konkeydongcountry:

sreido:

where was this when I was small enough to fit in it

you say that like i’m not gonna just awkwardly squeeze myself into it

if it worked for bowser, it’ll work for me

having worked at toys r us

i can assure you that size is no obstacle for adults wanting to hop on a kiddy toy

the grotesque contortions of the human bodies i have seen will chase me to the grave

toys r’ us guy has seen some shit

Oct 19

thats-slightly-raven:

feistie:

thats-slightly-raven:

I JUST BURNT MY HAND ON MY LAMP TRYING TO TURN IT OFF LAMPS SHOULD NOT BE HOT ENOUGH TO GIVE YOU THIRD DEGREE BURNS THIS IS BULLSHIT.

maybe if you’d go outside and used natural sunlight instead of running your lamp for 13 hours straight, this wouldn’t happen :)

OH I’M SORRY IT’S 3:38AM LET ME JUST WAKE UP THE SUN SO I CAN SIT OUTSIDE WITH MY SKINLESS BURNT HAND AND BASK IN THE GLORY OF NATURAL DAYLIGHT.

Oct 19

stability:

its weird how different your life could be if people found you more or less attractive

Oct 19

owlmylove:

charlottelabouff:

Remember when I was temporarily blind and my mom took me shopping but I got lost in the parking lot and ended up confused and in a hole and she just took pictures instead of helping me

this was wild from start to finish